Football, life's gift to man..

For the past few days, I've been agonising over this post. I started this post after my favourite football(soccer if you are American) club Liverpool won an extremely strong rival(Chelsea). See the beauty of this win was we(yes I said we) won them at their home ground where they have been undefeated in 4 season. Thats a very very long time if u wondering what that stat meant. The picture?? Thats just something for the boys(if there are any that reads my blog that is).

But by procrastinating(my favourite pastime by the way), I have successfully missed my chance of being able to lament about our(liverpool) undefeated record this season. It just pass 4 on the clock in my hall. I reached home barely 20 minutes ago. All torn and dishearten, after watching my beloved club crash 2-1 to Spurs. There were no tears but plenty of heartache(and profanities). Sigh, the life of a football fan. Plenty has asked , whats with this football craze. And those who know me knows that I love my dose of football. Let me try to explain what this game means to me. Every match is like a blind date. You have a squad of 20 odd "1st team" players. From there the manager chooses 11 players he believe are the best suited for that particular game they playing. So the "date" starts there. As the players walk out into the field we regular football fans use our trained eyes to spot all 11 thus being able to guess what type of game plan the manager has. Be it offensive, defensive, counter- attack or etc. And just like that, a smile or frown will appear. Just like in a date. We like what we see, we give our best smile and nod in approval. If we don't, we look disappointed and start to pray that the evening ends without any casualties.


But pretty much like a blind date, sometimes the hot babe turns out to be a bore and the nerdy gal with the braces seems to have so much more depth. I swear the rules apply in football. When your team wins, its like getting a goodnight kiss. Top of the world baby. But if they lose, it feels like a date you really like finding you a bore. For some people who may not know what this feeling is like. Let me explain. Its like being stab in the heart. REPEATEDLY. And unless you look like someone from the cover page of some magazine(I don't mean animal planet), chances are you ain't gonna have such a vibrant social life where every weekend is a date with someone new. Thus my twice a week dose of EPL fills the dating void in my life.


Yes ladies, thats the truth. We(most men not all) have discovered how to entertain ourselves without you. I'm sorry gals, as much as we need you for reproduction,laundry, and cooking. Watching football is just so much more cheaper and relaxing. A) They don't expect anything(we the fans expect things from them). B) They are cheaper(a cup of tea at the kopitiam will give you a front row seat). C) There is no need for 'C'. 'A' and 'B' are reasons enough. And before any lady reading this post chew my head off. Remember this, our(again most man but not all) love affair with our football team is 1 which is so dear to us that its sacred. And any sacrilegious person who comes between a man and his football beware, the footballing gods are watching. You have been warned.

Confession of a dreamer

As I sat on the stands of my school's stadium, watching the flurry of activities, I smiled to myself. I'm pretty sure those that caught it, must have thought I was a few screws short. But it didn't matter. Cause in my mind, I was far far away.

I've started working out again(hopefully this time I will see it through). And after each fat burning, lung busting session, I would buy a drink and take a seat in the stands of my school's sports complex. I love to watch all the other students(especially the gals in the really really short shorts) buzzing around doing their stuff. Be it CCAs, a friendly ball game between friends or even a simple jog. I would sit there wondering what type of people they are. How things might have been if we were friends and once in a while when I spot an eye candy I really like, I would wonder how life would be holding her hands. Although I suffer from something second only to leprosy(I have sweaty palms). For those that are squirming in their seats right now. I forgive you, hell even my bestfriend doesn't like me touching her. Sigh, another name on my shortcomings list.

Still, things let this doesn't stop me from doing what I love best. Dreaming. I have an image or an idea of how I want my life to be. And I plan to make it come true. I want a family, not just the normal type but the types you see in commercials. The ones where everyone is so happy and in love with one and other. I know I know. Right now you must be thinking that this guy is crazy, thinking something like that is possible. But that is exactly what I am. Its on number 103 on my shortcomings list. CRAZY. I want a simple yet beautiful life. I dream of holding my wife's hand while we watch our kids sleep. Or rubbing her shoulders after a long day. In my dreams, I learn how to make cuisines. Cuisines that would make her fall in love with me over and over again. All this while wearing my kiss the chef apron. I wanna meet a lady, who could make feel lost just looking in her eyes yet comfortable and close enough that I could call her my friend. A companion, a friend, a lover.

I wanna have kids. Daughters!!! 2,3 I don't care. A man's home is his castle. And I for 1 plan to dedicate my life to the service of my queen and princess(S). I shall accept a male heir but only because I will need to pass down my liverpool fetish to someone.In my dreams I protect them with the same intensity of a lioness protecting her cubs. I spoil them rotten, yet instill in them respect, love and kindness. I would bring them to do stuff like community service and later spoil them with gifts and kind words. I would cover them in cotton and allow them the childhood that I was rob of. People have told me I cannot hide them from the real world. I say bullshit. What is the real world? A world like mine or the world in some fancy condo or the houses on sixth ave. I believe that its up to me to make my own world. And I'm sure there will be hard times but my soul be damn to hell if I let it ruin my life. Screw "harsh reality" I'm the captain of my life. And if I say I want my life to resemble a UOB commercial then too bad for the statistics that say it cannot.

I also want a job where I can help people. But it has to be office hours. I wanna spent the bulk of my life where it matters most. With my family. In my dreams, I wanna do things with my family. Camping, bbq, fishing, shopping etc. Oh yea, I also dream of my family vacations like in the movies. Every year during the holidays we fly off to see new places. It doesn't matter if I'm not rich but I wanna be comfortable. This post can go forever as I'm one who dreams as much as I breath. Thus it has become my life's mission to make it all come true. Till that day comes, I will just be sitting somewhere, looking at people pass me by, dreaming. Why I call my goals and ambition dreams. Cause one day as I hold my queen's hand while watching our kids sleep. I shall kiss her on the forehead and say, thank you. I'm living my dream......

SNAG VS MCP

Snag = Sensitive New Age Guy (S.N.A.G). Similar to the Metrosexual, but more timid and sensitive.

MCP (Male chauvinist pig) = A man whose behavior and attitude toward women indicate a belief that they are innately inferior to men.

Last Saturday, I had the honour of having drinks with two very beautiful ladies. After which we were joined by another male friend. One of the topics being debated was what type of guy I am. My male friend who is a "man's man" in every aspect believes that I'm a S.N.A.G(look up for defination). To most people this might seem like a compliment or just a description. But in the world of the 'testorical' driven, its a mock to ones manhood. In the man's man handbook the first thing we learn is emotions and sensitivity are just two attributes better left for homosexual gay guys. There is no room for softness in the world of hard, rough, jock strap wearing men.

My bestfriend believes otherwise. She believes I'm a MCP(among other things). I'm the type of guy that doesn't believe in the women paying for me. As much as possible I rather be the one paying for both. Also i'm totally against the "stay home husband". As I was brought up learning that its the MAN'S job to bring home the bacon. I have nothing against my woman working but i wouldn't be caught dead living of her. Also there is the thing about women drivers. I've been riding for awhile now and I'm able to judge which drivers are female just from their driving patterns. Something that infuriates my bestfriend. Because I tend to point out the ones that I think are women and so far I've always been right(right princess??). Its stuff like this that has my bestfriend labelling me as a MCP.

Now heres the catch, what do women really want? I know the Miss Universe answer for this will be,"Ahem, world peace". Sorry I meant the other answer," I just want a man who understands me and is sensitive to my needs." Right?? NOT!!!! In my 25 years of experience being the "friend"(the guy that never gets the gal). I've come to realise that women for all their whining actually longs for the ARSEHOLE. Women thrive on drama and problems. Half the time, women are always crying to me about what a jerk her bf is and yet they never fail to include how much they "love" him. Sheesh. I remember reading an article ones about a study conducted about women preferance in men. The study showed that most women tend to be attracted to bad boys during their menstrual cycle. Guess they didn't test before or after the cycle cause i'm pretty sure they would have got the same result. Lets just face it, a perfect guy would be too boring. Most of the relationship where the gal is head over heels for the guy is when the guy treats her like crap. In a relationship where the guy is very attentive and sensitive, the women tend to be very nonchalant.

Why it is so?? I don't really know. And i doubt I ever find out. All I know is good guys always end last. So in my quest to improve myself thus making myself more acceptible to the female species. I've decided to become a new breed of man. I've decided to become a S.N.A.P. A Sensitive New Age Pig. I shall provide the ladies with the best of both worlds. I shall be sensitve to their needs yet enough of an arsehole that they have something to complain about so they don't get bored. Man, the things I do for my ladies. :P